You’re the Best…But Not Really

Recently, our league held a juniors-only bootcamp coached by two members of Team Canada. Levelled 1, 2 and 3 skaters came from far and wide for this unique-to-our-area opportunity.

The skaters had a great time learning new things and meeting new friends. The coaches were warm and encouraging. And the kids were challenged; it was a bootcamp after all.

But there was an instance when one skater came off the track, visibly upset about something. Upon some discussion, it turned out this 13-year-old was emotionally shaken and bruised. It turned out that, after an hour of the bootcamp, the skater – who was the best on her team – was upset because she wasn’t the best overall.

It was a humbling exercise for her, no doubt. She had tested to level 3 in her league and, amidst the other level 3 skaters at the bootcamp, she was finding she couldn’t complete the drills properly and her skill set was letting her down.

With her mother, we talked with her about her choices for the day. She could either continue to feel miserable due to the emotions she added when she compared herself to others, or be open to the opportunity to learn something, even if it meant swallowing your pride a little. Even the Team Canada coaches must have had their ego bashed at some point in their derby life, right?

Look to others as an inspiration and look to yourself with belief and love and, yeah, humility. Embrace not just the stuff you’re great at, but also the things you have to work on…even if they seem so easy to others.

BEING special is relative but FEELING special is something everyone wants. At 13, this skater must be dealing with all sorts of grown-up thoughts she needs to sort through. As coaches, we must be very conscious of emotions and societal pressures in order to nurture the kids left in our care. Their time with you might be the brightest point of their day.

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MVP! MVP!

I’ve been noticing a trend around awarding the MVP. To my league, it’s something we talk about at halftime. “Start thinking about skaters on the other team that are getting your number. Ask yourself why and see if you can correct that. If not, consider that player for MVP.”

Among the leagues we play, we typically have the skaters and bench coaches choose the MVP for the other team. My league strives to award the Most Valuable Player to, well, the most valuable player. And the coach has the final say. But what we often experience is our strongest skaters never see MVP.

Why is that? Is it because of sore feelings? “Let’s give it to so-and-so instead because she didn’t do much to upset us.” Is it because they’re trying to be magnanimous? “Let’s give it to so-and-so because I bet she never gets MVP.” I’m really not sure.

Either way, it’s wrong.

MVP ought to be given to the skater who the team would have done much, much worse without. Let’s face it, there’s always a standout.

You could argue that it could mean the same player gets the award many times over. But I’m okay with that. Chances are, that superstar skater you have has worked hard to get where she is. And others on her team should look up to that work ethic. Of course, if she has a bad attitude or something, then as a coach, you should have a talk about leadership with her.

Further, awarding the MVP to someone who may not have done well may only reinforce a mediocre effort or, worse, give that child a big head. It could also cause strife within the team when those who tried hard see that a weaker skater is awarded. They may understand when the more experienced skater wins but giving it to the new person who constantly got goated? That kind of reeks.

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To get around this and bring the positive mojo back to our skaters in the dressing room is the Sugar Shaker Award. It’s just a simple sugar shaker filled with candy and is given out in our dressing room after the game.

The Sugar Shaker Award goes to a skater who made the game sweeter. Maybe she pushed everyone to work harder or helped to keep morale high. Maybe she had an amazing 20 point jam. Maybe she was always the one at the right place at the right time to block. Sure, it may not be the superstar you have on your team but it usually is someone pretty close. This reinforces the value of people who play hard and bring a lot of positivity to the team dynamic. Because we go around to each skater and ask who they’d nominate and why, it lends to positive peer feedback – like a verbal hug from your derby sisters.